Lately, my heart’s been louder than usual. Not metaphorically. like, literally. It thumps harder, faster, more urgently, like it wants to outrun something I’m not even chasing. So I adjust. I rest longer between sets. Drink less coffee. Switch out metal for soft, wordless songs. Give my body a little more room. Let it feel […] Waste more time

There’s this thing that happens when someone looks at you for real. Not like they’re trying to solve you, but like they’ve already seen your edges before you showed them. It lands soft, but stays. I spoke more than I usually do. Told him about this past year. About how everything just fell apart. bit […] Waste more time

There was a time I told myself I wouldn’t go there.That if I just waited long enough, walked far enough, worked hard enough, it would shift. That I could fix this without help. That I should be able to. But now? I think I’ve reached the edge. It’s quiet in here. Just the stillness that […] Waste more time

A friend posted a song “Ruins” by Downriver Dead Men Go. I played it and just sat quietly while listening. I was in front of my laptop, staring at a blank page, waiting for me to write. To let the feelings out. To let the thoughts spill somewhere that isn’t me. My eyes watered. One […] Waste more time

It came quietly, like most dangerous things do. Not with chaos. at least not at first. Just a small shift. Something that didn’t feel wrong at the time. that I thought I was managing. Something I thought was mine to control. I kept feeding it. I didn’t ask what it was or what it wanted. […] Waste more time

Sometimes I wonder if I forgot something on purpose. Not consciously, not with intent. Just, like my brain stepped in and said “You don’t need that part, Aria.” And so I went on, unaware. But lately, something started leaking through. Like pieces falling out from behind the bookshelf. A tension that doesn’t match anything in […] Waste more time

My hair’s growing. Slowly. And every time I catch a glimpse of my reflection, I don’t quite recognize the face looking back. It’s like meeting someone new, but someone familiar. A stranger who’s not quite a stranger. And weirdly enough, I kind of like her. I want to know her. I want to know what […] Waste more time

I open my eyes, and there they are. All of them.Talking. Moving. Laughing. Pacing. Arguing. One is sitting, one is stretching, one is cracking their knuckles. Another one is just staring at me, head tilted, like I’m the intruder here. They don’t wait for me to catch up. One of them is flipping through a […] Waste more time

I think I’ve finally hit the expiration date. Not in a dramatic, tragic way. just in the way that a thing does when it’s no longer useful. Like a piece of meat left too long on the counter, forgotten until the smell makes it impossible to ignore. There’s something almost poetic about it. You start […] Waste more time

Sometimes, I wonder if there’s already a version of me out there. the one who didn’t fuck it up, the one who got it right. The one I was supposed to be. And here I am, just a glitch. A mess. A mistake in the grand scheme of who I was meant to become. But […] Waste more time