There was a time I told myself I wouldn’t go there.
That if I just waited long enough, walked far enough, worked hard enough, it would shift. That I could fix this without help. That I should be able to.
But now?
I think I’ve reached the edge. It’s quiet in here. Just the stillness that comes after trying everything you know. I’ve tried all the doors I could name. Pushed. Knocked. Sat in front of them waiting. None of them opened.
So I’m standing in front of the one I’ve been avoiding.
Not out of desire. Just out of lack of choice.
I used to whisper “not yet”.
Now I just whisper “please let this work”.